We live in a frontstage
focused world.
The frontstage is a fame obsessed, two-dimensional device-centered world that is expertly designed to command our attention, yet often leaves us feeling inadequate, empty, and soul-starved.
If you are a seeker of what is real, what is true, and what matters most, you won’t find it on the frontstage.
The backstage is where it's at.
The backstage is where you’ll find the events, turning points, unfortunate (and unwanted) occurrences, choices, and actions that loom large in the story of how a person came to be who she is, even though these events are mostly out of sight.
If what’s important to you is the frontstage, keep scrolling down to “Frontstage” for the letters, the trainings, and the credentials. This is the “stuff” that creates the appearance of being qualified, respectable, or effective. Unfortunately, they don’t always deliver.
Don't get me wrong, education and training are important. Important enough that I've invested hundreds of hours and more money than I can easily recall on trainings, certifications, and credentials.
But what makes me effective in the work we do together isn’t any of those things. It’s the inner work, the trials by fire, the so-called "failures," losses, and the dark nights of the soul. . .
Backstage
It’s a minor miracle that I got an undergraduate degree, much less made it through grad school. It took 7 years for me to get my undergrad degree. I didn’t get my Masters until I was 46 years old.
With the sole (and unforgettable) exception of my 12th grade government teacher, the possibility that I might get an education beyond high school was never spoken of.
I was encouraged to take a typing class so that I could get a job after I graduated. As it turns out, typing is a great skill for a published author and award-winning blogger to have!
At the time I decided to apply for grad school in my mid-40s my marriage was in a major crisis. It was one of the first of many decisions I made to create more interdependence in the marriage, and less dependence.
Interdependence is power. Dependence is disempowering.
Growing up I was naturally introverted and self-reflective. I’ve been an adventurer of the inner world since I was a teenager in the 1970s.
When I was 14 years old I managed to get my hands on a book about Transcendental Meditation. (I suspect I had to hide it from my mother, who would definitely not have approved.)
I recall sitting in the middle of my white, French Provincial canopy bed with that book, trying to empty my mind of all thoughts, only to find out 15 years later that’s not how meditation works!
All of the unwanted events I’ve experienced — childhood trauma and neglect, multiple betrayals in many relationships, infertility, alienation from family members — has invited me to a deeper level of my healing. And I’m grateful.
Without these experiences I couldn’t hear or see your unfiltered reality. I couldn’t stand for your right to know what you know, feel what you feel, and to take courageous and empowered action to create the life you want to create.
Without these experiences, I could not co-create with you the shifts and transformations that will change you, your relationships, your community, and the world.
After 16 years supporting partners moving beyond betrayal, my current work with women has expanded to include all women who want to tune in to their most authentic self and discover what they are meant to create in their lives — personally, professionally, and in their most important relationships.
If you are a partner moving beyond betrayal and you are ready to fully turn your attention to yourself as your primary source of approval, security, and love, I can help guide and support you through this next courageous phase of your growth and empowerment.
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.
- Ben Okri
Frontstage
Victoria (formerly Vicki Tidwell Palmer) is the author of the forthcoming Personal Boundaries for Dummies® (Spring 2024), Founder of The Radiant Threefold Path (Return+Reclaim+Receive), host of The Radiant Threefold Path Podcast, the highly popular Beyond Bitchy Podcast: Mastering the Art of Boundaries (2018-2021), and best-selling author of Moving Beyond Betrayal. Her first blog, Thriving After Betrayal, was ranked one of the Top 15 Infidelity Blogs and Websites to Follow in 2019.
Her most recent project, The Radiant Threefold Path (RTP), unveiled on International Women’s Day 2020, is the framework for her current work with women.
The RTP process teaches women how to Return to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaim what is theirs, and Receive everything that is meant for them. So that they can Regenerate their lives, their relationships, families, communities, and the world.
Credentials and Trainings:
Victoria is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP), based in Houston, Texas.
She has trained and studied directly with leading relationship and trauma experts including Drs. John & Julie Gottman, Terry Real, and Sue Johnson, as well as renowned meditation teachers including Ram Dass, The Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, and Roshi Joan Halifax.
Victoria has completed over 200 hours of training with Pia Mellody, senior clinical advisor of The Meadows, both in Pia's family of origin trauma model (Survivors I & II) as well as couples boundary work. In 2023 she attended Byron Katie's transformational 9-day School for The Work.
She has presented at national conferences, for The Meadows Lecture Series, as well as professional, healthcare, and 12-step communities on a variety of topics including personal and relationship boundaries, relational trauma, and mindfulness.
Professional Licenses, Certifications & Trainings:
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
- Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP)
- Post Induction Therapy (200+ hours of training with Pia Mellody — Family of Origin Trauma Model [Survivors I & II] and Couples Boundary Work)
- Level 1 Relational Life Therapy (Terry Real couples therapy model)
- Level 1 Gottman Method Training (couples therapy)
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
- Byron Katie's 9-Day School for The Work
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