#11: Step 5: Take Action to Create a Boundary

If you’ve been with me for the first four steps of this six episode series about the boundary-setting process, you may be both excited and nervous to hear that now, in step 5, it’s time to take action based on everything you’ve explored and learned up to this point. 

The options you explored in step 4 directly correlate to the possible actions here in step 5. If you completed step 4, you already have a good idea about what to do now. But that doesn’t necessarily make it easy, so this episode is all about helping you learn the best ways to follow through and take action.

One big tip I’d like to offer is that if you need accountability for this step, which will likely be the case if you know that your next steps are difficult or challenging, consider telling someone what you plan to do and that you’ll get back to them once you’ve taken action. This external accountability can be a great way to keep yourself motivated to follow through.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #11:

  • Your primary tasks in step 5 include making sure you’re clear about what you need to do; ensuring your request is specific, clear, and measurable; setting deadlines; and getting accountability for taking action.
  • If you need to make a request in this step, keep in mind that a request:
    • needs to end with a question mark.
    • must be specific, clear, and measurable.
    • shouldn’t tell the other person what they should think, say, or do.
  • Even if you’re powerless to change the situation or person (as identified in step 4), there are still ways you can take action. You might release or let go of the situation, for example, or give serious thought to what is truly within your control, or participate in a practice (like prayer) or ritual to help you let go.

Highlights from Episode #11:

  • Welcome to the eleventh episode of the show! This is the fifth episode in a six-part series about the 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier process. [00:31]
  • Victoria explains the primary tasks of this step of the boundary-setting process. [04:38]
  • We learn how to get started with step 5, which follows closely from step 4. [07:12]
  • Victoria talks about how to proceed if you identified the first option (having the power to create the outcome you want) or the second option (needing help to get the outcome you want) in the previous step. [08:58]
  • The third option from the previous step requires making a request of another person. Victoria explores this option in more detail. [10:30]
  • Victoria returns to the case study of Uncle Joe as she discusses making a request. [13:13]
  • We hear an example of a very clear request in the Uncle Joe case study. [16:35]
  • The third best practice for requests involves avoiding telling the other person specific things. [18:43]
  • Victoria discusses the fourth and final option from step 4 (being powerless). [19:59]
  • We hear a quick recap of the options in this step. [22:21]
  • Victoria gives two pro tips for working through this step. [23:16]
  • Today’s episode covered how to take action to create a boundary based on the previous steps of the process. Tune in next week to learn how to evaluate your results, and subscribe to the show to make sure you won’t miss an episode. [25:02]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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