boundaries

#12: Step 6: Evaluate Your Results and See What Went Wrong

If you’ve been following along with the six-step boundaries clarifier process, you’ve already created a boundary and taken action. But there’s still one more step: evaluating how things went to see what (if anything) went wrong and whether your boundary work needs an adjustment or clarification to be successful.

Resolving issues that may have occurred during the boundary creation process involves identifying what went wrong or was less successful than you had hoped. In this episode, I’ll go over various types of problems (from unsuccessful boundary creation to broken agreements) and offer guidance on how to move forward to fix them.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #12:

  • Step 6 isn’t always necessary in the boundaries clarifier process. If you had the power to create a boundary and did so successfully, or created an agreement with another person, you’re done!
  • If you were unsuccessful because you didn’t follow through or successfully create an agreement, the solution is simple: recommit to taking the action you identified in step 5. Telling someone else about your intention to take action may help, because knowing that someone else is expecting you to do something creates accountability.
  • If the problem with the boundary you set resulted from a misunderstood agreement between you and another person, the solution is to revise and review your agreements, ensuring that they’re clear, specific, and measurable. For example, instead of agreeing to save “more money,” specify a dollar amount.

Highlights from Episode #12:

Victoria welcomes listeners to the sixth and final episode in the series about the 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier process. [00:31]

We hear a quick recap of the first five steps of the process, and learn that step six, the subject of this episode, isn’t always necessary. [01:51]

Victoria offers some examples of reasons why a boundary may not be successful. [04:25]

The first solution relates to boundaries where you didn’t follow through successfully in step 5. [06:19]

What if you thought you had a clear agreement, but the other person had a different understanding? [09:18]

Victoria talks about what to do if there’s an unsuccessful boundary when one or both people break an agreement. [11:58]

We learn about how to handle simple situations of the other person having no buy-in to an agreement they made. [15:43]

Victoria sums up the four options for what to do when a boundary isn’t successful, and talks about why you may choose to do nothing. [16:46]

Ask yourself these three questions before you decide to do nothing after an unsuccessful boundary or a broken agreement. [19:55]

We hear three pro tips for working through this step. [22:04]

Victoria sums up the topics covered today and invites listeners to follow the show to get notified about new episodes, and to check out her new book Personal Boundaries For Dummies. [23:28]

Links and Resources:

victoria-priya

Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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