#13: Physical Boundaries: Protecting Your Body and Your Belongings

There are four primary boundaries: the physical boundary, the sexual boundary, the speaking/talking boundary, and the listening boundary. Today’s episode is the first in a four-part series where I’ll cover each of these boundaries in turn. Before digging into the physical boundary in detail, though, I’ll cover some basics of the primary boundaries in general, so don’t miss this episode.

One deeply important point that I’ll cover but want to reiterate here is that physical boundaries are non-negotiable; meaning a “no” is a “no.” This applies both to you and to other people, meaning that other people respect your boundaries around your physical space and your belongings, and you do the same for them. Keep in mind that this applies to everyone—yes, even your relatives or your spouse.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #13:

  • Anytime you’re using one of the four primary boundaries, you’re either protecting yourself from someone or something else, or protecting another person from you.
  • We each experience the four primary boundaries on a continuum from not having enough of that boundary (meaning you’re unprotected or too vulnerable) to having too much of that boundary or too many boundaries (meaning you’re too protected or figuratively behind a wall). When your boundaries are in balance, you know how to feel both protected and appropriately vulnerable at the same time.
  • You get to decide how close you want to be to other people physically. When your physical boundaries are operating well, you let others know how close they can get to you physically and you determine the access they have to your physical belongings—and respect the same from them.

Highlights from Episode #13:

  • Welcome to this episode, which is all about physical boundaries. Victoria shares some recommendations for how to proceed if this is your first episode. [00:31]
  • This is the first episode in a four-part series about the primary boundaries. [03:57]
  • Victoria offers some information that applies to all four of the primary boundaries, and shares a personal example of how boundaries can protect others from you. [06:08]
  • We learn that the four primary boundaries are experienced on a continuum. [10:33]
  • Victoria explains that the midpoint (or balance) on the boundaries continuum would look like an oval rather than a straight line. This is because we’re not aiming for perfection.[13:56]
  • We hear examples to illustrate how someone can be on both ends of the continuum for the same boundary. [16:42]
  • Victoria begins the description specifically around physical boundaries. [18:06]
  • What does it look like when you’re protecting others with your physical boundaries? [22:28]
  • Physical (and sexual) boundaries are non-negotiable with everyone, including your spouse. [24:16]
  • Victoria talks about separation and divorce, and how they relate to your physical boundary. [26:03]
  • We hear some examples of what physical boundary violations or broken physical boundaries look like. [29:06]
  • Victoria recaps the points she has covered today and mentions that you can get information about all four primary boundaries in her new book Personal Boundaries For Dummies[31:19]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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