#6 – Creating Boundaries With Six Steps

If you’re familiar with my work or you’re a listener from my original boundaries podcast (Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries), you might be wondering why there are now six steps to the boundary setting process, instead of the five I previously taught. What can I say? There’s always more to say and more to learn about boundaries! I added a new step at the beginning to help you get clear on the specific situation you want to work on, and clarifying that you must avoid focusing on patterns if you want your boundary work to be successful.

To make these six steps clear, I use a case study example throughout: an imaginary Uncle Joe who has a bad habit of stopping by your house unannounced. Come along for the journey as I talk about this scenario and how to work through it using the six steps. Once you understand how the six-step process applies to Uncle Joe, you can use this case study as an example of how to take your own situation through the boundaries clarifier process.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #6:

  • Instead of focusing on a pattern when you’re working on creating a new boundary, focus on a specific incident (yes, even if this is an ongoing problem that has been driving you crazy for years).
  • Creating strong, healthy boundaries involves having a clear understanding of the situation and what you need from it. The 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier FREE eWorkbook helps you work your way through creating a boundary that will achieve the results you need—and this episode gives you tips and insight into how to best use this workbook.
  • These six steps help you figure out how to think about and navigate difficult situations. Once you get the hang of the process, you’ll be able to walk through it on the fly.

Highlights from Episode #6:

  • Victoria welcomes listeners to this episode and recommends listening to the show beginning with episode 1. [00:31]
  • Today’s episode is all about getting an overview of the six steps involved in identifying, creating, and maintaining boundaries. [02:55]
  • Victoria lists the six steps to orient listeners before exploring each one in more depth. [07:51]
  • We hear about step one in more detail with common examples. [09:05]
  • There are two related pro tips for the first step: focus on one incident at a time, and don’t focus on a pattern. [12:31]
  • The second step involves getting clear about your reality by looking at three categories of your experience. [17:11]
  • Victoria gives some tips for working on step two. [20:30]
  • We learn how step two applies to the case study about Uncle Joe. [23:11]
  • The third step is about clarifying your needs, and has two parts. Victoria also offers tips on how to work through this step. [25:58]
  • In step four, you explore where your power lies before you take action. [28:54]
  • Victoria offers pro tips on step four, which can be a tricky part of the process. [30:45]
  • We hear about how step four works in relation to Uncle Joe. [33:35]
  • Victoria shares her pro tips for step five, which is taking action to create a boundary. [36:50]
  • The last step involves evaluating your results and seeing what went wrong if the process wasn’t successful. VIctoria also offers several tips for this step. [38:13]
  • Victoria briefly reviews the six steps for creating boundaries. [41:20]
  • Thank you for listening! If it’s before May 7, 2024, you can still take advantage of Victoria’s preorder bonuses for Personal Boundaries for Dummies. [42:12]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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