What happens inside you when you hear, “It’s so important that you feel good”?

You might think, “That’s just plain irresponsible — focusing on me and feeling good. You don’t understand. I need to be responsible, take care of my children, and consider others, not just myself. Isn’t it self-centered for me to only think of myself and feeling good?”

It’s true, you do need to take care of your commitments, responsibilities, and everything in your circle of control. And, what if all of that — your entire life — operated from a foundation of, “It is so important for me to feel good,” accompanied by regularly asking yourself, “How can I feel better in this moment?”

I believe it would change everything — not just for you, but for the whole world.

If that sounds too grand, imagine this: What if every woman, every person, in the world was focused on feeling better in every moment? Not in a self-centered, narcissistic, or self-absorbed way, but in a way that aligns them with their wisest, best self? That is a world I would love to experience.

What are some of the good feelings it’s so important for you to feel? Here are a few:

• Love
• Joy
• Passion
• Enthusiasm
• Confidence
• Happiness
• Excitement
• Contentment
• Anticipation of something enjoyable or fun happening in the future

Here are 4 reasons why how you feel — you feeling good — is so important:

The first is that when you feel good, you feel good. Of course, it’s obvious, but worth mentioning just the same. Who doesn’t want to feel good as often as they possibly can?

Another (obvious) benefit of you feeling good is that every moment of you feeling good is a moment NOT spent feeling sad, angry, despairing, shameful or guilt-filled.

When you feel good, you feel better about you. You hold a higher opinion of yourself, and your feelings of warm regard toward yourself grow. And when you feel better about you, everyone you come into contact with will observe — maybe even  absorb — some of your good feeling. And when they do, they may start to feel better too.

When you feel good, you magnetize or attract people to you — especially people who are also feeling good. Have you noticed that when you’re with someone who is chronically depressed, angry, or sad that it’s not very enjoyable? You may even want to get away from them or limit your contact. That’s what it’s like for others to be with us when we’re not feeling good.

Feeling good is not about pasting a smile on your face, being fake, or pretending you’re not hurting when you are. It’s about making a conscious decision that it is important that you feel good — for the benefit of you and your relationships.

If you want to increase the time you spend feeling good, begin with noticing your body sensations. Your body will give you all the information you need to identify how you are feeling in this moment.

And then ask, how can I feel better in this moment? The answer may be as simple as noticing what you want to feel instead. For example, if you’re feeling insecure or fearful, you might say to yourself, “I want to feel confident and secure.” Often, a simple statement of your desires, or what you do want, will begin moving you to a better feeling state.

© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2021)