#1: Boundaries: What They Are and Why They’re So Misunderstood


Welcome to Beyond Bitchy Podcast! In this first episode, I want to begin laying the foundation for you to create your very best personal and relationship boundaries. So many people are either uninformed or misinformed about boundaries, and I want you to have all the information you need to help you feel more confident about how boundaries work.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #1:

  • If you’re feeling clueless about how personal and relationship boundaries work, or you think they’re selfish, rigid, or bitchy, you’re in the right place! Setting boundaries is the key to getting both the space you need and the connection you crave.
  • Boundaries are anything that defines space between one thing or another. Doors, lines between lanes on a highway, or stop signs and lights are all examples of boundaries we encounter in our daily life.
  • In relationships, boundaries are about creating protection—either for you or for others. If you don’t feel safe personally or in relationships, you can’t progress to higher level needs like affection, love, and self-actualization.
  • When you start setting boundaries, be prepared for resistance and pushback. That means you’re on the right track!
  • Results you can expect from better boundaries, and why boundaries are absolutely not bitchy.

Highlights from Episode #1:

  • Welcome, and what you can expect from this and future episodes. The first 4-6 episodes will be devoted to the fundamentals of effective boundary work. [00:40]
  • Intro to Vicki, how she got here, and why she’s so passionate about teaching boundaries. [01:52]
  • Boundaries defined. [06:22]
  • What are personal and relationship boundaries, and how they create safety. [09:05]
  • How people in your life may react when you start setting—or upleveling—boundaries. [15:09]
  • Benefits of learning better boundaries. [20:30]
  • Myths and misconceptions about boundaries. [23:50]
  • Boundaries aren’t a punishment, or telling another person what to do. [26:01]
  • Preview of upcoming episodes. [32:35]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.


  1. Ellen on April 3, 2018 at 3:00 am

    Thank you. I am in aplace right now wherei need thisdefinition,

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on April 3, 2018 at 9:47 am

      Hi Ellen, you’re welcome! So glad the info was helpful.

  2. Sally on August 28, 2019 at 10:12 am

    I used the boundary solution with my husband and it is so straight forward and really makes me feel safer-thank you! It’s so easy to say have boundaries but having these steps to assert them are so amazing!

  3. Felicia on August 28, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    Wow, it is refreshing to see this was over a year ago. I remember how much this helped me as I was fresh with another betrayal and every boundary I thought I had, was broken time after time and as even deeper betrayals faced me from my husband. I had realized that I never really understood boundaries…as the year has past I have been back and forth until I understood that they are for me and my self care. I have grown so much since and I truly can say this and the weekly podcast has been a tremendous help in my growth. Thank you so much.

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on August 29, 2019 at 3:23 pm

      Thank you Felicia, I am thrilled that you are now in a place where you understand that boundaries are for you and your self-care!

  4. Amy on September 19, 2019 at 7:09 pm

    Should there be a boundary we should have with our kids when they are in teens so we can have better relationship in the later part of life, especially with sons.

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on September 24, 2019 at 4:32 pm

      Great question Amy!

      One of the best ways to maintain connection with teens so that you can have a better relationship in the later part of life is to overlook what is unimportant (like how tidy their room is or how wrinkled their clothes are), support what they’re passionate about as long as it’s healthy, and love them. The teen years are a time where boundaries are much more flexible so that they can begin to learn their own limits and set their own boundaries as adults.

  5. Brian on June 23, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    Podcast #1- 👍

  6. Marta Gutierrez on September 18, 2020 at 11:47 am

    Thank you Vicky!

    Stumbled across your podcast at just the right time!

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on September 18, 2020 at 2:44 pm

      You’re welcome Marta, so glad it’s just the right time!!

  7. Teresa Shockley on May 20, 2021 at 1:03 pm

    Hello Vicki! I was just wondering if you still recommend the book Essentialism? Reason I’m asking is I’ve gone to purchase it several times on the recommendation of others but then I read the reviews and that discourages me. I’m just checking in with you for clarity. I know not all reviews are valid. Thank you and thank you for this work you do!! ❤️

    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on May 20, 2021 at 1:52 pm

      Hi Theresa, it’s been many years since I read Essentialism and I can’t imagine a reason I would not read it again! If the reviews you are reading are on Amazon, please know that the most negative reviews get the most likes or are marked as “helpful”, and many negative reviews are simply the mean-spirited, vengeful rants of unhappy people with a lot of time on their hands. :-)

      Best advice: trust your intuition.💙

  8. Chante Catt on July 8, 2021 at 11:56 am

    My husband says my boundaries are too ridged. And that my needs, need changed. I live my authentic life. I worked hard to be where I am and feel so alone.

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