#12: Your Power Center (Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution)


Today you’ll learn about the third step of the 5-Step Boundary Solution process, Identifying Your Power Center. (If you haven’t already heard the previous two episodes, I recommend listening to them first.) Most of us have a conflicted, or even negative, relationship with power. Step 3 is all about identifying your power center. Tune in to learn all about power: what it is, its negative and positive aspects, and how to use it as you are developing better personal and relationship boundaries.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #12:

  • Power can be defined as the ability to do something or act in a particular way, or the capacity to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.
  • Power appears in three general ways along a continuum. On one extreme is power-over. On the other extreme is powerlessness. In the healthy middle is authentic personal power. Most of us default toward one end of this continuum.
  • People who use power-over strategies often make demands or tell others what to do. People closer to the powerless end tend not to use the power that they have. Generally speaking, men tend to default toward the power-over side of the continuum, and women toward the powerless end.
  • A person who acts from a place of authentic personal power realizes that the only person she has power over is herself. She’s in touch with her needs and wants, and she’s aware of (and accountable for) the impact of her behavior on other people.

Highlights from Episode #12:

  • Today, Vicki will cover step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution: Identifying Your Power Center. [02:04]
  • We learn about the definitions of power. [03:53]
  • For most of us, power shows up in three general ways that lie along a continuum. [05:25]
  • Cesar Millan had an episode in his television show, Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, featuring a powerful CEO who was, on the one hand, very powerful in the workplace, yet powerless around his own dogs’ behaviors. This simple example illustrates how we can exercise power differently in different situations. [08:00]
  • Vicki takes a moment to talk about power and gender. [10:34]
  • At best, power-over is controlling—at worst, it’s abusive. [14:18]
  • Vicki shares some of the ways you can tell whether you’re operating through authentic personal power. [15:48]
  • In this step of the 5-Step Boundary Solution process, you’ll identify one of four options. [20:29]
  • There are dangers that come with not owning the power you have, or when you attempt to have power in situations where you don’t. [29:29]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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