#121 – Quick Tips #16: When Grandma Pushes Your Limits
Sooner or later, every single one of us will feel manipulated by someone. That’s why this episode is for you, even if you don’t specifically have a grandmother who’s pushing your limits. Today I’ll cover some strategies to help you find solutions in these situations. One point that I can’t emphasize enough is how important it is to focus on what you want, instead of what you don’t like. Tune in to learn more, so you’ll be prepared next time you’re feeling manipulated.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #121:
- When you’re focusing on something you don’t want, it’s vital to know what you do want instead. Many of us struggle with developing this skill, but it’s definitely worth practicing. Just thinking about the solution can actually help you feel better!
- It’s helpful to start by viewing what you’re thinking (or making up) as a possibility, rather than the absolute Truth.
- No one has the power to make you do anything. You are in control of what you do, say, and think. When you approach interactions with this knowledge and a plan for how to respond, you’ll be better prepared in any situation.
Highlights from Episode #121:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode, and mentions her upcoming live monthly Boundaries Clarifier Workshops starting Tuesday, February 23, 2021. [00:39]
- We hear the listener question that inspired this episode. [03:32]
- Does Vicki think that the listener is being controlling? [04:50]
- Vicki digs further into the scenario around the question that inspired today’s episode, which relates to the listening boundary. [08:23]
- Vicki shares a specific example of how her advice can apply in this situation. She also points out the difference between a statement and an invitation. [11:40]
- We learn about one of the potential solutions to this situation, and why it can be a trap. [14:39]
- Why not just make a request that the grandmother to go through the listener to spend time with her daughter? Vicki explains why this may not be the best option. [18:21]
Links and Resources:
Hi, I'm Victoria!
I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.
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This was a hard podcast to work through. I am a grandmother who helped raise my granddaughter for almost 10 years from age one when her parents divorced. My granddaughter’ father just wasn’t emotionally available taking the divorce very hard. As he recovered he met a woman and they married. I had no idea he was seeing anyone until I saw her moving in. Since that day, my relationship with my granddaughter changed. Contact became limited and new family rules, etc. It happened so fast I felt blindsided and a huge sense of loss. I felt betrayed but understood what had happened. I balked and became the bad grandmother I think. In a blink of an eye, my relationship with my granddaughter changed due to the new presence of a step-mother. I get it but it happened in a matter of minutes.
I listened to this podcast and worked on the boundary clarifier. It helped me transition to some sense of peace. I still have work to do. I would like to add that grandmother’s are not always the problem makers as I have been called. Nor are step-moms. Sometimes family life can get really muddled and the use of boundaries in a loving way can bring some sense of order.
Sorry for taking so much space, but this podcast really struck a nerve. Thanks