#133 – Speaking to Be Heard (Part 2 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)


If you haven’t heard last week’s episode yet, I recommend listening to that one too if you’re interested in this exploration of the talking boundary. In that episode, I covered what the talking boundary is, and what talking boundary violations look like. This time, I’ll move into what it looks like when you have a healthy, effective talking boundary. I’ll also share some questions to ask yourself to help ensure your talking boundary is in great shape.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #133:

  • The first way to use a healthy talking boundary is to say what you would like or what you want, instead of saying what the other person did that you didn’t like.
  • Another important way to use your talking boundary in a healthy way is to lead with agreement. Mastering your listening boundary will also help you develop a strong, healthy talking boundary.
  • Here are some questions to ask yourself when you’re using the talking boundary: 
    • Is the other person in a position to really hear me and take in what I’m saying?
    • What response do I expect to get from this person?
    • Do I need to speak my truth regardless of the response?
    • Can I express what I want to say in a way that’s completely about me?
    • Would it be better if I waited for 24 hours to say what I want to say?

Highlights from Episode #133:

  • Did you catch last week’s episode? This one continues the exploration of the talking boundary that Vicki started then. [00:39]
  • Vicki shares some thoughts on the question behind the question, “Are talking boundary violations verbal abuse?” [04:09]
  • We learn the first way to use a healthy talking boundary, with Vicki offering an example from her own life. [07:27]
  • Vicki offers some general questions to ask yourself before you speak. [13:07]
  • It’s important to think of what your intention is before you express yourself, Vicki points out. [23:47]
  • Leading with agreement is the second way to use a healthy talking boundary. [26:36]
  • We learn about how one-word responses (or even silence) can work. [29:24]
  • Vicki explains that mastering the listening boundary is the best way to strengthen your talking boundary. [32:15]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.


  1. Theresa on May 13, 2021 at 3:59 pm

    Looking forward to the boundary clarity

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