#136 – When Someone You Love Is in Danger


People in your life may be facing a variety of dangers, from mental health issues or suicidal urges to addiction or unsafe behavior. But today, I’ll focus on a specific type of danger: physically or sexually abusive relationships. It’s painful to know (or suspect) that a loved one is in a relationship like this, but it’s also tough to know what to do. I’ll give you some specific advice on how to proceed—and what to avoid doing.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #136:

  • Here are some things to do when your loved one is in an abusive relationship:
    • Express concern and your willingness to help.
    • Give them a way to alert you that you need to call the police or help them get out of the situation.
    • Call the police if you know or have very good reason to believe that your loved one is in danger. Don’t hesitate; just do it!
    • Send your loved one healing energy, thoughts, and/or prayers.
    • Ask yourself whether what you’re planning to do might put this person in danger.
  • There are also some things you should avoid doing in these circumstances:
    • Don’t communicate in writing about their relationship or safety issues (unless it’s a time-sensitive emergency).
    • Don’t suggest that the person in an abusive relationship should go to couple’s therapy.
    • Don’t confront or agitate the abuser.
    • Don’t judge your loved one who is being abused.
  • Be aware that the most dangerous time for an abused person is right after they leave their abuser. The abused person should go to a domestic violence shelter (rather than a loved one’s house) when they leave, because the shelter will have resources to help.

Highlights from Episode #136:

  • Welcome to episode 136! Let’s talk about what to do in terms of your boundaries when someone you love is in a specific kind of danger. [00:39]
  • Vicki starts things off by sharing some statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. [04:47]
  • What are some things you should not do when you’re dealing with someone facing domestic violence? [07:20]
  • Vicki talks about the most dangerous time for someone leaving an abusive relationship. [12:42]
  • We learn some things that you can or should do in this type of situation. [15:24]
  • Vicki shares a resource: the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can call or text them at (800) 799-7233. [21:35]
  • What if someone you love doesn’t want to talk about it? [22:35]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

Imagine you, filled up

Get Free Self-Care Ideas

30 practical & delicious ideas to start building your self-care practice today.

It is so important that you feel good. It’s good for you, your loved ones, and the world.

Website Design by Natalie McGuire Design