#141 – Are Boundaries a Sign of Disapproval?


People have a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. You may hear people say that boundaries are harsh, rigid, a punishment, or even selfish. Some people even believe that sharing boundaries is a way to control others or tell them what to do. Recently, I’ve heard another misconception: setting a boundary with someone is a sign that you disapprove of them. Tune in to learn why this isn’t the case, and how your boundaries are all about you.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #141:

  • Whether you disapprove of someone isn’t the focus or the issue when you set a boundary. To focus on approval or disapproval is a deflection away from your limits.
  • If someone’s first reaction to your choice to set a boundary is to accuse you of disapproving of them, they are simply expressing their opinion, and they may be acting without accountability.
  • Your limits are about you and you alone. Boundaries are a form of self-care. They’re about taking care of yourself, not disapproving of someone else.

Highlights from Episode #141:

  • Welcome to the episode! Vicki chats about the reasons she started this podcast. [00:39]
  • We hear about some common misconceptions about boundaries. [02:15]
  • Vicki adds a new misconception to the list: if you set a boundary with another person, it means that you don’t approve of them. [05:57]
  • Does setting a boundary mean that you disapprove of someone or their behavior? [09:40]
  • Vicki talks about boundaries as a form of self-care, and explains with an example. [11:35]
  • If you set a limit and someone calls you rigid, harsh, or disapproving, they’re changing the subject from you to them. [14:52]
  • Remember that your boundaries are about you and your self-care! [17:06]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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