#143 – 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part II)


Last week, I talked about the first two of the four essentials for mastering boundaries: “Who’s Got the Power?” and “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” (If these don’t sound familiar, I recommend going back to listen to Episode 142.) This week, I’ll cover the third and fourth essentials: “Live and Let Live,” and “Change (So That I Can Feel Better).”

But before we begin, I want to share a big announcement: this will be the final episode of the Beyond Bitchy podcast. This has been a productive and fulfilling season of my life, but it’s time to bring it to a close and let the next season begin. If you want to keep up with what I’m doing next, please visit and subscribe to my Radiant Threefold Path Blog or follow me on Facebook, Instagram or YouTube. Thank you for being part of this podcast journey!

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #143:

  • Others have a right to live the way they want, just as you have a right to live your life in the way you want. If you don’t like someone else’s choices, your power is in how you choose to respond. 
  • The fourth essential probably addresses most of the problems you have with boundaries. If you want someone to change to make you feel better, you’re in one of the biggest pitfalls of creating effective boundaries.
  • When you find yourself wanting someone to change, go back to essential #1: “Who’s Got the Power?” In short, you can take action around protecting yourself, or make a request of the other person.
  • The biggest challenge you will probably face is the practice of returning to you, staying with your reality, and knowing what you want.

Highlights from Episode #143:

  • Welcome to episode #143! Vicki quickly recaps the first two essentials for mastering boundaries, which she discussed in detail in the previous episode. [00:39]
  • The third of Vicki’s four essentials is “Live and Let Live.” She talks about this in more depth, explaining what is (and isn’t) under your control. [04:56]
  • Vicki shares an example of “Live and Let Live.” [08:17]
  • How somebody dresses is another example of the third essential point. [11:27]
  • The fourth essential encompasses most problems you likely have with boundaries. [12:50]
  • Vicki digs into what the problem is with believing that someone should change to make you feel better. [15:40]
  • What should you do when you find yourself wanting someone to change? Vicki answers, then recaps the four essentials that she has covered. [17:58]
  • Vicki gives an example to illustrate the difference between what you could record and what you made up. [20:14]
  •  Vicki makes a big announcement about the podcast: this will be the final episode. [24:24]
  • Are you wondering what to do about your future boundaries challenges? Vicki promises that the answer is somewhere in the previous episodes of the podcast. She then invites you to sit down with a 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier, do the quiet inner work to discover your reality, your vision, where your power lies, and what action to take. [29:11]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

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