#32 – Boundaries Quick Tips #1: So, You’re Offended?

Welcome to the first of many “Boundaries Quick Tips” episodes. These short episodes will be laser-focused on tips, tools, and strategies for you to learn about while up-leveling your boundary work. This one will tell you exactly what to do when you get offended by what someone else does, or they get offended by something you did, or didn’t do.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #32:

• If someone in your life has ever been angry with you for something you did, said, didn’t do, or didn’t say, or you’ve been angry with someone else for any of those reasons, this episode is for you!
• The human brain has the habit of running on auto pilot and makes stuff up about what is happening, most of which is quite negative and often untrue. We can change the way we think, which has a profound impact on our thoughts, our emotions, and our quality of life.
• When you feel offended, be aware of the leap that you make from the experience itself (or the data) to what you made up in your head. Many of us jump to making up the most pathological or the most personal explanation—meaning the explanation where we are at the center of whatever happened. Try to have humility about the first thought you have, or what you made up.
• If you struggle with getting offended frequently, go back and listen to Episode 19: When They Go Low… We Go Lower.

Highlights from Episode #32:

• Vicki introduces the episode and explains that it’s the first in a new series. [00:48]
• We hear about one of the things that distinguishes humans from all other species, and a problematic thing that our brains do. [01:53]
• Vicki shares examples of times when people were offended or angry with her, and one case in which she was offended by someone else. [04:23]
• We learn some tips on how to handle these situations, especially when you’re the one who feels offended. [08:30]
• Vicki talks about another way the example with a family member could have gone. [13:06]
• We hear some advice specifically for people who struggle with getting offended frequently. [14:50]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 19: When They Go Low… We Go Lower
• Pia Mellody