#53 – Practicing Healthy Detachment

Wondering how detachment relates to boundaries and why practicing detachment is so difficult? In today’s episode we dig into the definition of detachment and how properly implementing this skill in relationships helps strengthen them and our boundaries.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #53:

• You can’t practice detachment without boundaries because no matter how you choose to detach, you will need to set limits on how you respond or react.
• It is important to recognize the people and situations who you should detach yourself from and why. Sometimes you have to detach from a person, and other times you detach from a situation regarding a person.
• Detachment doesn’t mean you are selfish or that you should keep your thoughts and emotions to yourself. Also, detachment is not neglect. It’s important to pay attention when something is abusive or when another person breaks an agreement and address it.
• When you’re feeling charged or righteous about a situation, it it probably healthy and advisable to practice detachment.
• There are several skills you can learn to practice detachment. Using your listening boundary, stating that you’re attached to an outcome, and knowing the difference between sharing your reality and controlling the other person’s behavior are all skills for practicing healthy detachment.

Highlights from Episode #53:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode and talks about detachment and how it relates to boundaries. [00:39]
• Vicki defines detachment, and how it relates to setting boundaries. [01:50]
• Detachment and boundaries go together but they are also related and detachment cannot be practiced without boundaries. [02:50]
• Vicki dives into different areas of attraction in several types of relationship structures and the potentially harmful levels attachment can reach. [04:41]
• There are two different ways to think about detachment and Vicki reveals both. [06:46]
• Vicki reviews all the things that detachment is not and the things to watch for when detachment goes wrong. [09:13]
• Vicki talks about the times that detachment is helpful are advisable. [17:10]
• Learn the skills needed to practice the art of detachment. [21:35]
• If you’re just starting the practice of detachment, start with small things in less charged situations. [29:51]
• Detachment is ultimately about freeing you from feeling as if you need to control others. [30:57]
• Vicki recaps what detachment is, why you need it, and how to practice it. [31:34]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 37: The Listening Boundary Part I
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 39: The Listening Boundary Part II: How It Works
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 40: The Listening Boundary Part III: High Quality Listening = Higher Quality Responses