#58 – Codependency & Boundaries
It’s time to talk about boundaries and codependency! In today’s episode we’ll discuss how to recognize codependency, why codependency is a boundary problem, and how to stay on your side of the street. We’re all battling codependency to one degree or another, so tune in and find out how codependency stops you from creating the limits you need to create.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #58:
- How to recognize codependency in your life.
- Why codependency is a boundary problem.
- The 5 core issues in codependency.
- Six common signs you may be struggling with codependency.
- Resources for learning more about codependency and how to overcome it.
Highlights from Episode #58:
- Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode is a deeper dive into the relationship between codependency and boundaries.. [00:39]
- Vicki talks about codependency and gives a little background on the term. [02:46]
- Codependent No More is a book that helped Vicki recognize codependency. [07:10]
- Vicki gives her definition of codependency. [08:38]
- Codependency is a boundary problem. [11:55]
- The 5 core issues as taught by Pia Mellody in her book, Facing Codependence. [14:23]
- Six signs you might be struggling with codependency. [23:39]
- Vicki gives some ideas and tools to help put an end to codependent behavior. [34:08]
- There are several 12-step community programs that can help you dive deeper into understanding codependency and Vicki discusses these. [40:33]
- Vicki’s final thoughts. [45:04]
Links and Resources:
- Vicki Tidwell Palmer
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Melody Beattie
- The Language of Letting Go
- Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives, Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller
- Codependency Anonymous
- Al Anon
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Adult Children of Alcoholics
Hi, I'm Victoria!
I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.
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I loved this! I want to recommend Celebrate Recovery as another option for a 12 step program, specifically for Christians. It has been life-changing for me.
I wonder how to apply the idea of staying on one’s own side of the street in a situation where one adult has legal guardianship of another adult due to a traumatic brain injury. My father cannot be responsible for much of his own life and my mom has stepped up, but he still see himself as an adult and resents being in a perpetual one-down position. My mom cites his dependence on her as the reason she feels compelled to essentially treat him like a child. Any pearls of wisdom for how to balance the situation? Thank you very much for your podcast. (I am almost all caught up with the episodes. 🤗)
Hi Karolina, I am so sorry to hear about your father’s TBI, and I can completely understand that this would be a very difficult situation for everyone to navigate.
I am by no means an expert on living with someone with TBI but I wonder if it would fit for your mother to have agreements with your father to help only in areas where he directly asks for it and to intervene only in situations of safety, so that your father can feel like an adult and not in a perpetual one-down position? While letting him make his own choices in certain situations may cause discomfort or even embarrassment, if he is still safe then it might create less stress and conflict in their relationship.
I’m also wondering whether there might be a group for partners living with a spouse who has TBI that your mother can join? I have worked with people who participated in groups for family members caring with someone with Alzheimer’s, for example, and they found these communities of support very helpful.
I wish you and your family all the best.