#75 – Boundaries & Mothers-In-Law

Let’s talk about mothers-in-law! Even though boundaries and rules work the same way across all adult relationships, there’s a tendency to forget this with our parents and our in-laws (especially mothers-in-law). That’s why this episode is dedicated to the often-complicated relationship with mothers-in-law. If you’ve ever felt slighted by your mother-in-law or wanted more connection than she seems willing to give, this is the episode for you! 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #75:

• Keep in mind that if you’re a woman with children (or hope to have them someday), there’s a good chance that you yourself will someday be a mother-in-law.
• Imagine your problematic mother-in-law were an acquaintance. Would you spend energy trying to develop a friendship with her? If not, why not apply that same principle to your mother-in-law? It’s okay to let go of the wish for, or expectation of, a friendly relationship.
• If just one person is holding up a relationship, it’s not really a true relationship between two people.
• Ultimately, it’s healthier for the son- or daughter-in-law (and better for their relationship) to practice self-care, create boundaries, and find their “I can’t.”
• Sometimes when we pull back our energy, the other person (the mother-in-law in this case) may feel invited to become more involved. 

Highlights from Episode #75:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to this episode about boundaries and mothers-in-law. [00:39]
• We hear a bit about Vicki’s relationship with her late mother-in-law, as well as the question that prompted today’s episode. [02:41]
• Vicki shares her reaction and responses to the listener’s question, as well as some advice. [08:14]
• Over the years, Vicki has heard some truly awful mother-in-law stories. She briefly digs into these, then explains why setting boundaries is better for both the son- or daughter-in-law and their spouse. [12:43]
• Vicki explains why it’s important for the spouse whose mother is involved to be the one to resolve the issue when there’s ongoing conflict. [17:54]
• We hear a recap of the points that Vicki has covered in this episode. [21:38]

Links and Resources:

Vicki Tidwell Palmer

Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer

5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier

Vicki’s Survive & Thrive Membership Community

Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 72: Are There Different “Boundaries Rules” for Loved Ones?