#95 – Don’t Bite the Bait! How to Respond When You’re Feeling Baited

From time to time, everyone struggles with biting the bait. And usually the people we feel most baited by are the people we care about the most. But there’s really no benefit to biting the bait, especially if we want to stay connected. Today, I’ll dig into what exactly bait is, and share 11 ways to avoid biting it.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #95:

  • The dictionary definition of bait causes us to focus on the wrong thing in interpersonal reactions: the other person’s intent. Instead, think of bait as your internal experience to what another person says or does (or doesn’t say or do).
  • The eight phrases that I shared in my episode on how to keep the peace during the holidays all work when you’re feeling baited. A fantastic all-purpose response is to simply say, “I hear you.” 
  • A helpful response when you’re feeling baited is to repeat the other person’s statement or question. Another option is to amplify what the other person said if it was negative.
  • Finally, humor can be one of the most effective strategies for dealing with bait.

Highlights from Episode #95:

  • Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode, which is all about how not to bite the bait. [00:39]
  • We hear about Vicki’s upcoming special live event for podcast listeners. There, she’ll answer previous questions from listeners. [03:24]
  • What is bait? Vicki explains why the dictionary definition is problematic in this context. [04:45]
  • Vicki digs into the benefits of focusing on being baited as your own experience instead of someone else’s intention. [10:32]
  • We hear about the first few of 11 potential responses to use when you feel baited. [13:47]
  • Vicki shares the rest of the potential responses, including a standalone “ouch.” [18:47]
  • Vicki adds three more tools, specifically for when you’re feeling baited. [23:51]
  • We hear a quick recap of the 11 ways that you can respond when you’re feeling baited. [32:39]

Links and Resources:

victoria-priya

Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.

2 Comments

  1. Bonnie L. F. on June 29, 2020 at 8:38 am

    When I tried to use humor, I was told I was being sarcastic, which is contempt. How do I know the difference between diffusing with humor, vs being sarcastic?



    • Vicki Tidwell Palmer on June 30, 2020 at 5:03 pm

      Hi Bonnie, I hear that when you tried to use humor you were told you were being sarcastic. Ouch!

      I’m most interested in what you think? Everyone is entitled to their opinion, including you! If you believe it was humor, but was received as sarcasm, you can use that for information about how to communicate with that person in the future. If you believe it was sarcastic, then you can apologize if that feels like the right thing to do.

      How would that fit for you?



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