Prioritizing You is Easier Than You Think

In my article, How We Got Here, I talked about the struggle of nurturing and standing for ourselves as women, and what we can do to break the cycle.

Thank you for the vulnerable and inspiring comments. I was so blown away by the responses, I want to share some of them here:

One woman said:

“. . . Now I am going inwards and listening to my inner child, damaged teenager, and they now know I AM THERE for them!”

Another reader wrote:

“I am typing this with tears stinging my cheeks. My name is Miracle. I feel my body wringing out a lifetime of sadness that I ever believed otherwise, along with an energetic strengthening, a straightening even. A lot like the ugly duckling when he finally gets it that he’s a glorious swan after all! . . . “

These are the kinds of experiences YOU can expect when you begin to turn your attention to yourself, and see who you really are.

When you begin prioritizing yourself and taking care of you, here is a short list of what you can expect:

• You will know what it means to nurture yourself even if you didn’t have good role models growing up.
• You will trust yourself to put you first, so that you won’t feel exhausted, depleted, or resentful.
• You will have effective tools for responding to people who aren’t used to (and complain about) you making time for yourself.
• You will know how to repair hurts from the past and heal yourself in the present. These tools don’t require anyone else’s participation, which makes them extremely powerful.

And here’s even more good news—you can start right now!

Here are 3 ways:

1. If you’re not sure where to start, as soon as you finish reading this article make a list of 3 things that nurture you. Nothing is too small or insignificant. If it makes you feel content, peaceful, or filled up, write it down.
2. If you think you’re a lost cause because you didn’t receive nurturing as a child, ask yourself, “Have I ever nurtured another person or a pet?” The likely answer is Yes, which means you can nurture you!
3. This one is an advanced move, but I think you can do it: Look at your to-do list right now. Find one tiny, easy task on this list (like “pick up some bread at the grocery store”) and ask someone else if they can do it, even if they won’t do it as well as you would :-).

You can do this!

I have facilitated nearly 40 intensive workshops teaching these skills and I’ve never worked with a woman who couldn’t connect with and nurture the part of herself that feels lost, forgotten, and wounded. Never.

This can happen for you too.

Several years ago, a woman came to see me because of an extremely challenging and painful situation in her marriage.

Although she was highly educated, beautiful, and talented, she was so beaten down by her relationship that she couldn’t protect and take care of the vulnerable child inside her who felt lost, powerless, and excruciatingly lonely.

I was honored (and amazed) to witness her remarkable transformation from hopeless and despairing to joyful, assertive, and confident.

Toward the end of our work together she received an unexpected professional opportunity that was beyond her wildest dreams.

Because she learned how to tune in to her need for protection, connected with what brought her joy, and began setting boundaries in her relationship and at work, she created the conditions that gave her the courage to pursue and accept a truly mind-blowing opportunity.

With the right tools, support, and skills you can move from hopelessness and despair to feeling filled up, worthy, and loved from the inside out.

If doing this kind of inner discovery and exploration is new to you, it may feel too complicated or even overwhelming.

But like so many things in life, learning to nurture yourself is a moment by moment, day-by-day experience.

Just take baby steps, and you’ll get there.

And if you’re still feeling doubt about whether or not you can do this, ask yourself, “What will it feel like a year from now if I don’t learn how to prioritize myself?”

Consider the consequences to yourself and the people you love (especially the girls and women in your life) when you’re not filled up with self-care, joy, and confidence.

In my next post I’ll be sharing three ways you can immediately know whether or not you are nurturing yourself in any given moment, even if you don’t feel like you know how to care for yourself.

In the meantime, I’d love for you to leave a comment and let me know what you think — do you think this is possible for you?

© Victoria Priya (formerly Palmer) 2023