Self-Love & The Magical Kitchen [VIDEO]


I’m coming to you today from my kitchen to share a story about the importance of self-love.

In my work with women over the past 3+ decades, I’ve seen time and again that one of the biggest mistakes we make is that we look to our relationships or other people as the source for receiving love, approval, a feeling of “enoughness” or worthiness.

We look outside for all of these delicious feelings that we are longing, sometimes desperately, to feel.

And when we do this it causes us pain, frustration, and heartbreak. And it wastes a lot of our time and energy.

If your sense of “enoughness” and the receiving of love and approval is contingent on another person, you will spend a lot of time trying to figure that person out, so that you can get from them what you want and need.

The other person becomes your source for the powerful feelings you want to experience. Not only is this dangerous for you, it never works in the long-term.

And that’s why I want to share the story of The Magical Kitchen with you. It’s a story of self-love. I hope it inspires you to create your own Magical Kitchen.


From Chapter 6 of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love—The Magical Kitchen.


© Victoria Tidwell Palmer (2022)




I want to support you to Return to the authentic truth of who you are, Reclaim what is yours, and Receive everything that is meant for you. So that you can Regenerate your life, your relationships, community, and the world.


  1. Lori Prizmich on April 29, 2022 at 12:36 pm

    Wow…that was so powerful. You hear it all the time: you have to love yourself. If you never experienced love as I child (it happens!), it is impossible to comprehend. For me, once I had children, I experienced real love for the first time. Being loved back is such a magical feeling – it is a magical kitchen.

    • Victoria on April 29, 2022 at 12:57 pm

      Hi Lori, I’m so glad this resonated with you!💙

  2. Toni Ortner on April 29, 2022 at 12:49 pm

    Thanks so much for reading The Magical Kitchen. It made total senses.

    Thanks for all your hard work in helping women to understand and to heal themselves. Toni Ortner

    • Victoria on April 29, 2022 at 12:58 pm

      Thank you Toni, I’m so glad this resonated with you!💙

  3. Valerie on April 29, 2022 at 11:50 pm

    Wow— this story resonated so much with me! And the really cool thing is that I heard this very same story being spoken about in another podcast that I heard just today— I think my Higher Power is trying to tell me something. Thanks so much for sharing this!💗💗💗

    • Victoria on May 2, 2022 at 9:57 pm

      You’re welcome Valerie, I love the synchronicity!💙

  4. Amy Ritchie on May 2, 2022 at 7:36 pm

    Thank you so much Vicki for sharing the warmth of your kitchen with us. You always give me new ideas to savor, and I am grateful! Amy

    • Victoria on May 2, 2022 at 9:58 pm

      You’re welcome Amy, I’m so glad this resonates with you!💙

  5. Paula Crooks on May 4, 2022 at 10:46 am

    Vast ocean of self love! Oh, bring it on! So beautiful!

  6. Cheryl on May 5, 2022 at 6:56 pm

    I understand the metaphor, but it has me thinking about it this way. When I share the bounty of my magical kitchen with everyone and anyone, I am giving, giving, and giving endlessly. I feel taken advantage of. Then, when someone offers me a pizza, I see it as a gift, and that someone FOR ONCE sees me as worthy of receiving, not just as an endless giver. I think maybe that person likes me because they are not even trying to take advantage. They don’t see me as a free meal ticket like everyone else does. I’d appreciate your thoughts on this.

    • Victoria on May 5, 2022 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Cheryl, here’s how I see it:

      A person with a Magical Kitchen would not give endlessly to the point that she feels taken advantage of. People with healthy self-love (a Magical Kitchen) don’t do this because to feel taken advantage of is not compatible with love of self or other. She would not be likely to rely on being seen by someone else as worthy of receiving because she already feels worthy, evidenced by having her own Magical Kitchen.💙

  7. Carole on July 27, 2022 at 3:37 pm

    This story is so powerful.
    I need to learn how to love myself.
    I’ve given birth to 8 children & I love them dearly & have given & given.
    They have given me grandchildren whom I love deeply & receive love back from them. They are all precious in my sight. I’ve given & given to my husband & he’s good to take & take & take some more. I don’t know what I want from him & he probably doesn’t know how to give love back.
    Our marriage is struggling & I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t really want a divorce. Yet he can tell me everything else I should be doing to make him happy. I’m sure I’ve placed a wall of protection, just to survive.
    I’m in counseling & he knows he doesn’t need anyone telling him how to treat his wife.
    I need to fill my cup, before I can give more to him. What is your advice to me.

    I truly love everything you post & have a great respect for your opinion.
    I love your calm sweet voice & love who you are.

  8. Debbie on September 18, 2022 at 11:06 am

    Thank you for sharing your love! You’ve had
    a great impact on my life. Thank you … Thank you … Thank YOU!!!

    • Victoria on September 18, 2022 at 11:26 am

      You’re welcome Debbie!💙

  9. Kathy Baykal on January 25, 2023 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you Victoria-this helps me a lot as a survivor of Narcissistic Victims Syndrome- with a hijackal for 19 years.
    Thank goodness for YOU and all you do to empower women!
    I am learning say no to the pizza and yes to what I feel like eating lol! I found the boundaries pod cast first and will continue to work on those too- that’s my new healthy practice along with journaling ☮️❤️

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