Eventually we have to face the fact
that we are not God.

—Marion Woodman

Unless you are truly not in your right mind, none of us would flat-out say, “I am God.”

But our behavior may tell a different tale.

There are many ways to act like a Goddess or God, including:

• Holding an attitude or saying directly and explicitly, “My way is the right way,” or, “My views are the correct views.”
• Chronic unaccountability or refusal to accept responsibility for one’s behavior.
• Consciously or unconsciously believing that you are above the law, and that norms, rules, or values that apply to the majority of people do not apply to you.
• Giving yourself permission to violate other’s boundaries (as well as your own) by telling yourself that you have a right to be cruel, mean, or abusive to another person because they hurt, offended, or wounded you.

We may feel justified in taking on the God role or we may take pride in seeing ourselves as God’s first lieutenant. After all, there’s a lot that needs fixing in the world right now!

But the dark and dangerous underbelly of this mindset is self-righteousness, entitlement, arrogance, disdain, and even hatred.

You may have come by the God position honestly if one of your parents was chronically unaccountable and put herself in the Goddess position.

And as unattractive as the behavior may have appeared to you, you may also have learned by observing that playing God can sometimes reap big rewards when coupled with authority, power, or charming, seductive behavior.

The emotion that drives the impossible ascent to the God level is most often fear — the root of all attempts to control. And the person behind the God mask often feels empty, small, insignificant, and powerless.

Patterns and habits of elevating ourselves to the Higher Power position are toxic to us and to our relationships.

There are also subtle, less obvious ways to play God or Goddess.

Have you ever told another person that something they said or did hurt you, and their immediate response was to collapse into a puddle of tears and shame, declaring what a horrible person they were?

Notice how this behavior immediately moves the attention away from your hurt and onto them.

This particular brand of unaccountability is often missed and may be a red flag that she/he is chronically self-centered, or even a full-blown narcissist.

Another subtle form of being God is when you take responsibility for many things over which you have no responsibility or power, as if the success or failure of these situations or people hinged on you.

Or, if you believe that the reason a person hurt or betrayed you is your fault or is because of you, you are suffering under the hidden, false, and painful belief that you have the power to cause another person to do or to not do something.

Repeat after me, “I am not that powerful.”

And this truth is where the freedom and relief of not being God lies.

Facing the fact that you are not God or Goddess is a portal into humility and surrender.

It is also an opening into more intimate connection with others as you come back down to Earth and consciously return to the imperfection and messiness of being in a human body.

When you face the fact that you are not God you humble up, you get to release the tight grip, and you get to return to the truth of who you really are.

Invitations for reflection, exploration, and action:

• In what ways do I play God, if any?
• What is the emotion that drives my playing God?
• What hidden gifts might I receive if I accepted that I am not a Goddess or a God?
• How do I feel in the presence of someone who is playing God/Goddess? (This person may thrive on drama, power plays, or act as though she/he is above the law, and lacks accountability.)

© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2021)

Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman’s Body and Soul (©1998)
By Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick
(Reprinted with permission)

*This post is from the Coming Home to You Series. Visit this page for the backstory of the CHTY Series.