#4: Women and Boundaries: Struggles and Strengths


Today’s episode—and every first episode of each month—focuses on women and boundaries. Women are vulnerable in ways that men aren’t, and the inherent power imbalances in society can contribute to women experiencing more boundary violations. I discuss why these imbalances exist, some of the inherent strengths women have and how those strengths can contribute to boundary challenges. I will devote the first episode of each month to the topic of women and boundaries—so be sure to tune in!

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #4:

  • Women have unique issues and topics to address when it comes to boundaries. And men, this information is for you too! You’ll understand women more and up-level your interactions with them when you know more about how they see the world, through their boundaries. 
  • It’s as problematic to be gender-blind as it is to be racially color-blind. Refusing to see differences is a kind of bypass that ignores the reality of the way things are. You also miss the experiences, specific challenges, and also the beauty of differences when you ignore the reality that men and women have different life experiences.
  • Women must face safety concerns and fears every day. These include deciding what time of day to run errands, exercise, 0r decisions about where and when to travel. These are issues most men don’t think about or need to pay attention to.
  • Girls and boys demonstrate innate differences from a young age. For example, infant and toddler girls are better at mimicking what someone else is doing, and seeking or holding eye contact. These differences make women uniquely gifted at establishing and maintaining connection with others, but can also contribute to women’s reluctance or inability to fully own their power if they don’t understand how boundaries operate.

Highlights from Episode #4:

  • What it looks like when men are unconscious around issues of boundaries with women. [02:21]
  • Specific challenges women have when it comes to boundaries, including safety issues. [08:38]
  • Women tend to be vulnerable in ways that men are not. [11:47]
  • When there is sexual contact between two people in the workplace where a power differential exists between the individuals (employer/employee, for example), it is not possible to give free and clear consent—a crucial component of practicing safe sex. [13:55]
  • The role of boundaries in creating safety, and how women must frequently focus on safety or scan for danger. [18:42]
  • Topics surrounding sexual boundaries in terms of keeping women safe. [25:24]
  • Boundary challenges related to women’s unique and inherent strengths. [27:02]

Links and Resources:


Hi, I'm Victoria!

I love guiding my clients on a journey of Returning to the authentic truth of who they are, Reclaiming what is theirs, and Receiving everything that is meant for them.


  1. Maddy on June 2, 2021 at 2:35 pm

    This episode was hard to listen to. I worry about my daughter out in the world everyday. I carry a lot of guilt that I didn’t know what to teach her to help keep her as safe as possible but then again, no one taught me. I have been in bad situations before, with bad outcomes. Now as I am older, I feel even less safe because I am just not as physically powerful as I used to be, nor as quick or alert so now I err on the side of caution. I am strategic in where I go, what time of day I go out in, and whether I go alone or not just as you described in the podcast. I hate that it is this way. I think young women especially underestimate the dangers to their safety as well as the amount of sexism there still is in the USA. It is like every generation of women has to learn about it all over for themselves, in a sense rediscovering the wheel. Culturally, we can’t seem to get past the discrimination and abuse of power to the degree that would cause it to finally fade into history. What is happening in the military in terms of sexual abuse of enlisted women is a good example of how deeply sexism is still embedded in this country’s institutions, sadly.

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